The fading remnant of a song

Yesterday I suddenly woke up from sleep in the night just before the beginning of dawn. I was dreaming. Now I cannot recollect what the dream was all about. Actually, I am unable to say convincingly whether it was a dream at all. But, there had been something that I felt before I woke up. What was it? There was a feeling in me. It was that I had been hearing a very sweet melodious song. I tried to remember the wording of the song but I could not. I had heard it in the last line when it was fading as if moving far from me. The most peculiar thing was that I had a feeling that I knew the whole song and its beautiful tune. It had been so captivating that I felt it was a song sung for my life; actually, it was a call for me where I live in my unknown existence. Naturally, I sought to hear it again and perhaps I wanted to remember myself in that song after waking up. I felt that I had been living for this song and I could live till the last day of my life for the sake of this song. I had wanted to know and hear and understand many things in my life but when I heard the fading remnant of the tune I had known it for certain that all the response of my seeking was carried through this tune. As I woke up, I was deeply sad and thought that I missed it forever. At the same time I went on thinking that, it was something that one could never miss. It was like missing oneself! I knew it and but I could not remember. If I ever remembered it I would discover myself!

Author of my life

In my last posting, I wrote about formation of individuality in life. I think this is the basic thing one must know about spirituality. Whatever I like to know or love to know is obviously related to my own inclination as to how I can be satisfied. Man is not driven by reason. He is carrying a spontaneous and continuous thirst to get himself harmonized in what he seeks to know. In his seeking, he unknowingly wants to get resonance of a truth that is already in him. Even reason is a godhead that we worship not for its own sake but for the sake of overall existential harmony.

However, my point is not to get to the root of reason as the prime mover of our search for truth. We are not always happy to know a truth that we arrive through reasoning. It is because we want a truth that can make us satisfied happily. If a truth arrived through reasoning fails to satisfy an individual or a collective body then it is in confliction of our sense of harmony-which again is the basis of truth. The fallacy lies in our inability to conceive a reality in its wholeness. It is not my interest here to discuss this aspect of reasoning in man.

I am concerned only with our satisfaction in relation to truth. We want to know only to be satisfied. What is this satisfaction? This is an existential phenomenon. I seek only to be complemented with a truth that sustains me. I may say that I have been searching myself in all my seeking. It is I –but it is hidden I. So there is a constant pressure in life to seek it in everything-and everything for the satisfaction of being discovered.

He is the author and this life of mine is his satisfaction-his tale.

Individuality

Every life has its own truth and this is the guiding star of that life. There are innumerable shores to reach at while floating on a vast ocean. However, a ship has a fixed and single destination to reach. Life is like a vast ocean, we are like ships, and for each of us there is a fixed destination. The only difference is that a shore may be a destination for different ships whereas for each individual the destination is unique. There cannot be a single destination for two or many persons because it is only in man that the sense or theme of individuality is formed and developed through the passage of life.

One has rightly told that the whole aim of evolution is to create perfect individuals. The basis of individuality is a truth that is concerned with that individual only. However, this is not to say that that there is no single truth governing this creation and the world is a conglomeration of different truths –which may even be contradictory to one another. But this is not like that.

The conception of truth is there in the world of manifestation, creations. Each single individual sense of fulfillment is a part of the harmony that sustains all separate expressions. Therefore, the validity of truth lies in relations. The Brahman has no truth as such, –He is because He is.

However, my point is about individual truth as I belong to manifested creation. The aim of life, therefore, is to find that truth in me or for that matter find the truth of my life. The sadhana begins with this effort of discovering the truth around which the life has been organized. To this end, we must get some hints of that organizing truth. Where and how do I exist individually?

Then begins a hide and seek affair. It is there in everything and at the same time, it is nowhere! It is impossible to grab it by effort as any psychological movement makes the water surface too turbid to see what lies beneath. Any mental query, any vital want veil its existence. As it is in the state of budding it is yet to get hold of all the life movements. So one must try to be as transparent as possible. What is this transparency? This is unperturbed life movement and an effortless stillness within.

The tuning of one's life lies there. Once the tune is heard and felt the meaning of the existence in the life begins to be gradually revealed.

The path can be seen –lit by that inner light. It is its own path.