7 December 2008

The Eternal Traveller

He is a traveller in me. I am not aware of him although he travels with me all the time. As the shadow and its object is inseparable- so is this traveller who is with me and never leaves me. He travels through me in my life. He is there in all my feelings –my pain, my sufferings, my delights and in everything that is mine. When I see he sees through me. He hears when I hear. He is living –very much living, intensely living with me. The whole world with its innumerability parades in me and he also takes his part in this worldly exercise. When I weep he is closest to me in my weeping heart. None in this world can know better than him, closer than him in my feeling that makes me weep. But he is silent and holds no opinion, seeks no reason, suggests no way out for a remedy. He is there in the midst of it. So is the case when I burst in happy moments. He does not make me happy nor does he make me weep. But in all my life-throbs he is there with me but without being throbbed- and never reacts.

But he has no preference. He never emphasises. I am not aware of him –but he is all my awareness. I can not be aware of anything of my life if he remains unwilling to savour my sense of awareness. At times when I'm broken –with the burden of my life's sufferings and is torn into pieces –I pray to God with tears in my eyes –and call for his loving grace-I then realise that he is also in my aspiration and moves God-ward with me –but to my wonder I also find that he –being in my very aspiration –does not appeal for any remedy. He throbs in my lips that pray but without words that seek. He is silent and unmoved and calm- generating refreshing air in my life.

But who is he then in me? I'm his life and he lives through me. I try to pinpoint his existence but fail. He is not an outsider and a separate existence. The only thing I feel that I have in me a centre –the centre of gravity of myself-my existence and he himself is traced in that centre. But again he is missing in my limited physical body. As I go on finding him by tracing the foot-prints of my feeling –the path stretches deep within me-deep-very deep-more deep that this physical body can stretch to. In this passage of my journey to get hold of him I am lost and losing my physical sheath I am landed in a depth and get to him. Oh! He himself is the depth! Suddenly I become vanished in the light of all the lights of life. I see myself –standing there. I am face to face with me and discover that I am the travelling divine from the beginning of time! It's a splendid discovery! Instantaneous tears roll down from my eyes in love as I know that in no moment of my life I am separated from God. He has been carrying me from all the previous lives like a mother carries her just born baby in her arms. The mother sways the baby for comfort and sleep-but as the baby while being carried is not aware of its mother I am not aware of my eternal companion!

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