Thoughts

Is it possible for a man to break his sleep by himself? There must be a will to break. But how can a will be formed when one is not aware that he is in sleep? Then why one wakes up without any external interference? Perhaps the body needs to be woken up, to come out from sleep for its own reason and its own time-the kaal. It is an inner condition that makes the necessity to be in an awakened state.

So is this life coming out in a more conscious state.

The darkness is fading out but there is still no light. It just gets the hint of the of the coming of the first ray of the dawn but not the dawn itself. Does a flower is aware of the act of its gradual unfolding before becoming a full bloomed flower?

I have never seen the sun-but my eye-lids have caught a vibration to open and see.

But who determines time-kaal?

He and I

Where shall I go? He does not move in me. He only enjoys me in whatever I do and want. But he does not do anything and has no want for himself. He is not involved in my circumstances and concerns. His only involvement is me –myself. His link to this world and life is through my pulse. He has a light –but the path is left to me for my treading. The light is not mere light but a leading light- perhaps for a destination rooted with his source.. He does not love when I love. But he is love itself. He has no preference for anyone. But when I love he is also there- not for my sake –even not for my love’s sake but for his involvement in my being. He is the essence of love. So whenever there is love he is traced there like the fragrance of a flower is traced to the flower itself. If you keep the flower in a far place –the fragrance is feeble and only in trace. So he is there in traces in my human love. Does a flower love anyone? No –it gives out its fragrance to all without preference. So is he in me who loves without preference. But in every preferred love of mine he is being more aware of his own being who is carrying with him a source of love. Unlike a flower –he grows in my awareness and more I grow the more he fills me with his own love-boundless and all pervading. So where shall I go and for what or for whom? It is not me that go with me. There is none who is needed and there is no place I need to live or stay. He has been feeling through my every foot-step, my breathing and finding eyes, ears, hearts and senses for me to tune them with his own. Whenever I move for anything –he moves for me there. Whenever I love someone he loves for me. As we grow in nature and by nature-he is growing through me and by me-only to become fully himself in his full light and love.

unfulfilled dreams

 

One -in young days dreams and wants for many things and spreads to various directions. Not all wishes and dreams are fulfilled. If there was anything at all that can satisfy a person! In the end it is felt that one was actually born in a wrong world that satisfies none! Or because the very person was wrong in a right world? So when it is time for the sun of life leaving this world -the tired birds of our wishes return -unfulfilled and gather round the tree from where they once flied to cross the horizons.

The Eternal Traveller

He is a traveller in me. I am not aware of him although he travels with me all the time. As the shadow and its object is inseparable- so is this traveller who is with me and never leaves me. He travels through me in my life. He is there in all my feelings –my pain, my sufferings, my delights and in everything that is mine. When I see he sees through me. He hears when I hear. He is living –very much living, intensely living with me. The whole world with its innumerability parades in me and he also takes his part in this worldly exercise. When I weep he is closest to me in my weeping heart. None in this world can know better than him, closer than him in my feeling that makes me weep. But he is silent and holds no opinion, seeks no reason, suggests no way out for a remedy. He is there in the midst of it. So is the case when I burst in happy moments. He does not make me happy nor does he make me weep. But in all my life-throbs he is there with me but without being throbbed- and never reacts.

But he has no preference. He never emphasises. I am not aware of him –but he is all my awareness. I can not be aware of anything of my life if he remains unwilling to savour my sense of awareness. At times when I'm broken –with the burden of my life's sufferings and is torn into pieces –I pray to God with tears in my eyes –and call for his loving grace-I then realise that he is also in my aspiration and moves God-ward with me –but to my wonder I also find that he –being in my very aspiration –does not appeal for any remedy. He throbs in my lips that pray but without words that seek. He is silent and unmoved and calm- generating refreshing air in my life.

But who is he then in me? I'm his life and he lives through me. I try to pinpoint his existence but fail. He is not an outsider and a separate existence. The only thing I feel that I have in me a centre –the centre of gravity of myself-my existence and he himself is traced in that centre. But again he is missing in my limited physical body. As I go on finding him by tracing the foot-prints of my feeling –the path stretches deep within me-deep-very deep-more deep that this physical body can stretch to. In this passage of my journey to get hold of him I am lost and losing my physical sheath I am landed in a depth and get to him. Oh! He himself is the depth! Suddenly I become vanished in the light of all the lights of life. I see myself –standing there. I am face to face with me and discover that I am the travelling divine from the beginning of time! It's a splendid discovery! Instantaneous tears roll down from my eyes in love as I know that in no moment of my life I am separated from God. He has been carrying me from all the previous lives like a mother carries her just born baby in her arms. The mother sways the baby for comfort and sleep-but as the baby while being carried is not aware of its mother I am not aware of my eternal companion!